U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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