dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
