youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
