she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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