I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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