his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
