FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
