We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
