haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
