I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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