How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
