Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
