You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
how can u be prego again
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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