I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
