Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
