I need to stop coming to work sober
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
