No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
