p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
