I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
