i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
