I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have post one night stand depression
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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