I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
