Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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