Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
im on a boat
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