i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
