Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
