The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
vagina is talking i cant
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
