My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
