Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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