The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
