Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
