k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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