nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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