you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
