I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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