he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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