Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
