the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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