I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
