i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just gift wrapped bread.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
