But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
