white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
