I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
