A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just google imaged poop.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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