Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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