At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
