PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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