I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
