DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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