Betty ford says i'm here all night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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