I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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