Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
