and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Drake has all the answers
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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