All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
