I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
